I am struggking with havung a confidence to socialize with people. Since I failed to join in and maintain coenversation, people don’t come to me and leave from me to talk to others, which drives me to feel isolated and sad.
What I regard as ideal is finding a friend who is with me at all times. I don’t wanna walk through campus alone because I think it represent my lack of social skills to everyone. That’s embarassing so much.
So I am seeking such people as I have in Japan. But it is one of chances that I proactively take a action to communicate with people. I fact, instead of staying in my room all the time, I try to be outside to meet someone, which is my progress from when I was in Japan. I just was spoiled with the dominant environment.
Althogh I am tired with searching for confort zone, I get out of my confort zone everyday ironically.
When I find a confort zone and as soon as I obtain it, will I stay there? Given my charactristics as a grow-oriented people, I will suffer again by myself.
I should praise myself even now for my attitude toward outside confort zone.
